Weblog
Wednesday, 16 September 2009
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How's life?
*Edit* This entire post started when Rohanie (first a Momaroo friend, now a Facebook friend) asked me how life was. My reply comment was insanely long so I thought I just maybe better get back to blogging.
Busy and boring at the same time. I need to get back to blogging- thinking about subjects and ideas for posts seems to blog about seems to keep my mind fresh and churning. But so often, I want to blog about things I'm passionate about and am afraid of coming across the wrong way. So I don't blog because I don't know if I can do it perfectly right- typical firstborn tendencies for ya there, lol.
We've obviously moved ND by now and getting into a routine. We really love it here and are *working* on finding some friends. I haven't really found any mom friends yet, other than the boss's wife. And while she's really nice and friendly, I'm afraid I'm going to scare her, along with most other small Midwestern town moms, away as I'm a bit of a crunchy granola mama. Even though I'm not hardcore. But anyways.
There are some slightly crunchy mamas at the church we've started attending (a Bible Baptist church a little over an hour away) and they seem ok with me, so we'll see. The church has been very warm and welcoming, which is awesome considering I never felt like I really fit in ANYWHERE that we went in PA. I'm just all-around weird but they seem to accept my weirdness here, lol.
Gabe is getting huge, of course. I'm not sure what exactly he weighs right now as we don't have a pediatrician (and never have) so don't do regular check-ups. He's growing, learning how to crawl and be mobile, eats like he should (even though this lazy mama doesn't have him on solids yet), sleeps like he should, etc. :) His fifth tooth came through the other day and his sixth is not far behind.
Nate is loving his job a lot. Wheat harvest is on now so he has been working some very long days- which is great for the paycheck! But the whole job thing is also great because he really enjoys it. At his former job he was just fixing equipment. Now he's fixing and doing everything else on the farm as well. And while he loves the maintenance side of things, he also loves being out in the fields and in the fresh air.
And I am in the process of dipping my toes in the photography business water. I have a photo blog set up at http://reginalynnphotography.blogspot.com. Check it out if you so desire. I decided to jump ship to Blogger/Blogspot because it just seemed more professional. Sorry Xanga!
It's exciting and scary to think about having my own business. Obviously, I'm starting out very small (I haven't even charged anyone yet for my services, since it's been mostly family and friends) but even on a small scale, my confidence doesn't seem up to the challenge. I'm afraid people just won't like my personality. I'm afraid they won't be comfortable enough with me to loosen up and let me be able to capture the fun, smart, beautiful, etc. side of them. And then I'm always worried about my camera settings and lenses and actually ending up with some images I can work with. But, as is my tendency, I've made up my mind, have closed my eyes, and am in the midst jumping. We'll see where I land!
But, as I alluded to at the beginning of this post, I want to start blogging more regularly. It keeps my writing juices flowing and I like that. From now on, I am going to aim to post at least once a week. And more than just a "Hi" and "Goodbye". Go ahead, hold me too it- I'll probably need some accountability.
Feel free to friend me on Facebook as well. I keep that updated on a much more regular (think several times a day) basis. You can find me under 'Regina Lynn M.'
Monday, 03 August 2009
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Never good enough...
If you don't want to read a whiny rant, please don't read this. It's just that I've had this on my mind and I just need to rid my system of it.
I've had this problem all my life. The problem of never feeling good enough. Sometimes the problem is my own- being too sensitive for my own good. Sometimes it has been the fault of others.
For my web friends who don't know much about my past, let's just say that I didn't have an easy childhood. There was abuse, yes, but that's enough material for another loooooong blog post. We won't go into that. But another (I guess it went hand and glove with the abuse) part was the fact that I was never, ever good enough. My handwriting wasn't good enough. I didn't have good enough posture. I didn't walk right. I wasn't tough enough. I was the reason the entire family farm was going to fail and my little sibs weren't going to have the chance to live on the farm and would have to live in town with a little yard and no room to play instead.
And I'm quite aware that this plays into my self-esteem, feeling excluded, and sensitivity issues. I'm also aware that I need to forgive and move on. I need to stop being so sensitive and realize that even if someone DID intend to insult or exclude me, that's their problem, not mine. I know that I'm a child of the King and I shouldn't worry what other people think. I should be myself and rest in that.
But, once in a while these things come up again. Sometimes from my parents. Sometimes from friends.
I can probably count on one hand the people I have felt completely comfortable telling (almost) everything to. Sure, I know I have some others that care about me, but I am never COMPLETELY myself, all the time, except with a few. And even the few that I am comfortable with have hurt me and caused me to withdraw on occasion. I work through it and move on.
Sometimes though, being the perfectionist that I am, I look back and I honestly want to know why these people treated me this way. I want to know so I can fix myself and be more 'likeable' for the next time. Sometimes I just want to ask, "WHY?"
"Why did you just dump me at the amusement park?"
"Why was I not good enough to be invited along on the latest girls trip, hang-out, etc.?"
"Am I too weird?"
"Too loud?"
"Too grown up?"
"Too immature?"
"Too crazy?"
"Too distant?"
"Too intimate?"
"WHAT did I do?"
"WHY?"
I tend to swing between two extremes. When I first meet someone, unless we totally hit it off right away, I'm more reserved, calm, collected, even distant. But once I've gotten know that person and I think that, just maybe, they like me just for who I am, I get comfortable. Probably too comfortable. I laugh too loud. I say really stupid things. I proclaim my opinion just a little too freely. And then, as soon as I get the the wrong look, glimpse someone (maybe) rolling their eyes, etc., I begin to clam up again. I start to go back to being all put together and perfect again. And I hate myself in that mode! I'm just totally not 'me' in that mode.
As I look at our move to a totally new location, I still wonder, still wish somebody would just tell me what's wrong with me. I'm supposed to be a grown-up mom- but often I don't feel grown up. I still feel like that insecure teenager that's trying to figure out how to make people like her, how to be cool.
I try not worry about how I look- I want to be the kind of person that may be overweight, but also has the personality that makes people not even notice that issue. I want to be the kind of person that people say regarding me, "Hey, I didn't even notice that she's on the heavy side until she joked about it! She's so fun to be around!" But I'm so afraid. I'm so afraid of being too much, too overbearing, too weird. I'm constantly questioning myself: "What should I do? How should I act? What should I say?"
I don't know. I'm beginning to run out of words. I just want to ask "Why?" Why have I been excluded, rejected, snobbed so often? Do people really do these things on purpose or just because they could care less about how I feel? Are they trying to tell me something by telling me nothing? These are the very questions that I have cried over. Wondering what I did wrong, how I offended. Why can't I just be normal and liked?
Why can't I just find a happy medium that other people want to have around?
Anyways, thanks for reading this if you got the whole way to the bottom. Maybe I'll feel better now. I don't know why, but maybe I will.
P.S. I promise to blog and get pictures of our move up SOON! And if you are one Facebook and want more regular updates, friend me there. Search for 'Regina Lynn M.'
Sunday, 17 May 2009
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To life!
Ok, I don't know where I came up with that title- I think it's something off 'Fiddler On The Roof'. It seemed apt. Since I last posted (I know, I know, a day and an age ago!), Gabe has grown by leaps and bounds.
I learned how to make the world's absolute best Mac'n'Cheese. From scratch. Seriously, you'd think I'm pregnant by the way I crave that stuff. I'm not, by the way. Not pregnant, that is.
The hubby and I have been making some big, life-changing decisions.
This is a pasture in southeastern North Dakota, near where we are relocating to in July. Yup, you read right: we are moving. Halfway across the country. To pursue a dream. And, yes, we've been told, quite seriously, by well-meaning folks, that we are crazy and stupid and making a big mistake. Ah, well. Those folks never really stepped out of their comfort zone and took a risk. And what, I ask you, is great opportunity without great risk?
Another shot near our soon-to-be home. This is a typical back road. Like an actual road with mail boxes along it. It runs through a cattle pasture. And yes, that is the school bus coming the other direction. We LOVE it!
I had a bunch of other pictures I was going to post and I uploaded them...and now I can't find them! What has Xanga changed in the photo department?!
So, with our move fast approaching, I have been super, SUPER busy. We are thisclose to having our house publicly listed as for sale and have been working extremely hard getting it ready to show. I never knew getting ready to show one's house was. so. much. work! You have to get rid of anything you won't be needing before your move, keep your house clean and picked up, etc. Basically, when people come to look at it, they're not supposed to think about the fact that they're invading someone's home. So that's my excuse for not posting recently!
I'm going to try and post some pics of my new little neice, Gabe's cousin, who was born 3 weeks ago. I did her birth announcments and they turned out extremely cute- or, at least, I thought they did!
If you want to keep up with my life a little more, try friending me on Facebook- I keep that updated much more frequently.
What's up with everyone else?
Monday, 30 March 2009
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So sorry!
Hello everyone! So sorry for the lack of blogging here! We were dealing with some kind of malware and trying to do much on the Internet was a real headache- the computer could barely deal with posting my status and comments on Facebook, much less, writing a whole blog post and actually posting it! But now, I think, it's mostly whipped and I'm back.
So much has been going on- some that I can post about and some that I can't. Gabe is growing and learning and developing so fast, it's scary! He's actually started working on teeth, although I don't think they will be through for a good while yet. I need to take his 3 month pictures, but haven't had the time. I'm also lacking a black blanket to use as a backdrop. The white one I used for his 1 month shots is really not big enough, but I guess I can use it again, if I have too.
Here's some fairly recent shots of my little man in his bathtub- he loves bathtime!
Yesterday he experienced the first big storm of his life! It involved tornado warnings and sitting down in my in-laws basement for a little while. It was freakily, scarily cool, at least that's what I thought. If it hadn't been for Gabe and the fact that I wanted to make sure he stayed safe, along with my mother-in-law insisting the Gabe needs his mom, I would have been upstairs watching the storm pass over. Nate watched as the wost of it came over, and he said the wind was incredible. He never saw the twister, but apparently one touched down about a mile and half away from us. Well, actually, I guess they're not even sure it was technically a tornado, it may have just been a "microburst', whatever that is. But I saw the damage and I'd say it was a tornado. But then again, I'm not a meteorologist, so what do I know?
The extent of the damage was mostly limited to some lost barn and house roofs, as well as a bunch of mobile homes in a trailer park my husband's grandparents own. A good friend of mine lives right next to that trailer park, also in a mobile home and this is what her place looks like:Yeah, not good! Thank the Lord that she was at work (in the dairy barn right next door) and her roommate was gone! She said she's never been so glad to have been working.
And that's the car she bought in January- at least, what's left of it.
On the other side of her house and car is part of what's left of the trailer park. Hey, I just noticed something- at least Ang will be able to salvage to John Deere plate off the front of her car! Don't worry, she'll appreciate that- I talked briefly to her yesterday and she seemed to be in good spirits for having just had her car and house totalled.
Sorry, I didn't mean to make this post completely about the storm, but oh well! Please pray for the people who lost their homes and/or are injured. Last I heard there were 3 injuries, but no deaths, PTL.
Also, and this is for you Janae
, I wanna give a big shout-out thank-you to all the emergency personel that were called out and and on the job for hours after the storm. There are probably some still out this morning. Anyways, gotta run! Hopefully another post will not be so long in coming!
Wednesday, 11 March 2009
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Homemade Baby Wipes
Well, I know a lot of people are really pinching their pennies and trying to save where they can, so I thought I would do a post on making your own really cheap baby wipes. And I do mean cheap. I know this may not be the greenest idea, but I think it's probably greener than commercial wipes. Personally, I like these better than regular wipes- they are more textured and not as stiff and slick as Wet Ones- they do a better job of wiping and you don't go through them as fast.
So here's a little how-to with, ala the Pioneer Woman (and if you aren't a regular reader of her blog, www.pioneerwoman.com, I HIGHLY recommend her!), pictures. Sorry for the overexposure- I wanted to get it done and I hate flash-ey looking pictures, so there.
Here's what you'll need:
1 1/2 c. hot tap water
1 Tbsp. baby oil
1 Tbsp. baby shampoo/baby wash
1 roll paper towel, cut in half (you'll only need one half)
A container big enough for the half roll of paper towel with a closeable lid. I have a square Tupperware Modular Mate with a hinged lid that works perfectly.
And yes, I do realize that, in the picture above, I have baby lotion, not baby shampoo. I grabbed the wrong bottle. We'll see the right stuff late on.
So now that we have all our supplies together, we're gonna take the cardboard out of the middle of the roll of paper towel. DO THIS FIRST, BEFORE YOU MAKE IT WET! Trust me, it'll be a lot easier!
Here's my half roll. An electric bread knife is wonderful for cutting this, but I don't have one so my husband uses his bandsaw to cut my rolls for me. Works great. Oh, and you want to have good paper towel for this. Not off-brand junk. The off-brands don't hold up near good enough. But don't worry- you'll still be saving money with buying Bounty or whatever. Remember, one roll gives you two boxes of wipes.
Cardboard coming out.
It's ok if some of the paper towel comes out of the roll or tears off in the process of pulling the cardboard out.
This is how we fix it. Just stuff it back down the middle of the roll.
Now we've got the cardboardless roll of paper towel in our container. You can set that aside for a little bit.
Next we need our 1 1/2 c. hot tap water.
See, 1 1/2 c. Never mind the waterspots on my measuring cup. We have incredibly HARD water.
Our 1 Tbsp. baby shampoo.
Stir it into the water.
And then our 1 Tbsp. baby oil.
Stir it into the water.
Here's what the concoction should look like. Nice and bubbly and soapy and good-smelling.
Pour the warm liquid evenly over the paper towel. Make sure to get all the way out the edges. Be liberal. Use all of it.
You can kinda see the wetness here.
Now, close the lid and let it set.
See that condesation in the corners?
That's what we wanna see- everything getting all nice and steamy in there. Now just let it set for the liquid to seep all the way through the paper towel. Overnight is best, but if you need them a half hour later, there should be enough towels that are moist for what you need them for. This box will last me a good week and a half, maybe two. One roll of paper towel provides me with enough wipes for almost a month. And that's NOT stretching it! Sure, I buy commercial wipes, once in a while, for the baby wipe case in my diaper bag, but nowhere near as many I'd be buying otherwise. And how much is a box of wipes? $3? I really have no idea, but I buy my roll of Bounty (at the discount grocery store) for about $1.50. And anyone with a baby already has the other ingredients. The container may be a little harder to come by, but moms are known for their ingenuity. Any container that's big enough and has a lid that seals should work. And time? Well, it usually takes me less than 5 minutes to make these. Yeah, that's cheap.
Anyone else out there make their own wipes? Shampoo? Do you knit little socks for your baby? Sew their sleepers? Ok, joking there.



































